Beards amongst facial hair types are a fun way to make a man look dressier than usual, which gives off an intense and beardiful look.
Men with beards are stereotypically tall, well-built, and fearful, but a bunch of beard puns might also crack their humorous side open. I mustache you to read this specially curated list of beard puns if you relate!
Funny Beard Puns
Q: Ever since I got facial hair, how have I felt?
A: Beardiful.
Q: Why couldn’t I eat more?
A: My stomach felt beardiful.
Q: How was the weather forecast today?
A: So beard that it was wrong again.
Q: Why did I want to throw a surprise party for him?
A: It was his 21st beard-day.
Q: What kind of day is it today?
A: A very beard day.
Q: What wishes do you have for the lovelies?
A: Have a beardiful day!
Q: Do you like beard puns?
A: I mustache you that question.
Q: How are these beard puns?
A: Beardy funny.
Q: What should you read?
A: I mustache you to read John’s new book on beard puns.
My Experience: A good read is like a well-groomed beard—full of character and a few unexpected twists!
Q: Why did I shave my beard?
A: I could not beard it.
Q: How does John look without facial hair?
A: Very beard.
Q: What happened last night?
A: We got so drunk and beer-d, we passed out in the living room.
Q: Why are Sarah and Harry still missing from their forest trip?
A: I hope they weren’t killed by a bear-d.
Q: As a child, what did I like to watch?
A: Pooh Bear-d eating pots of honey.
Q: How is the weather today in July?
A: Beardy warm, even though it’s the monsoon season.
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Q: In which era of human history do we live?
A: The most eventful and beardiful.
Q: How did John learn to shave?
A: On his beardy own.
Q: How did the man with the brown beard look?
A: Beardy cool.
Q: What did my best friend exclaim when she found out about the engagement?
A: “A little beardy told me you two got engaged. Congratulations!”
Q: How did I feel after working out?
A: Beardy tired.
Q: What did Harry ask Sarah before their road trip adventure?
A: “Are you beardy to go?”
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A: “I had a beardy great time with you.”
Q: What kind of day is it today?
A: A beardy special day.
Q: What can’t I postpone?
A: I cannot shave the question for later, so I mustache you.
Q: Why couldn’t John get rid of his beardiful beard?
A: John couldn’t shave it.
Q: What did the doctor tell John’s family about him?
A: “I’m sorry, we couldn’t shave him.”
Q: What kind of dream did I have?
A: A beard dream where I woke up clean-shaven and sweaty.
Q: What did I tell my husband before he left for work?
A: “Have a fan-taches-tic day at work, beardiful!”
Q: What kind of dream freaked me out?
A: A beard-ass dream where I was suddenly clean-shaven.
Q: What did the flight attendant ask me during a turbulent flight?
A: “I mustache you, are you having a good time?”
Q: Why can’t I join your plans over the weekend?
A: Because I ran out of my shavings.
Q: Why can I opt for a masters?
A: I have enough in my shavings account.
Q: As a literature student with a beard, whom do I idolize?
A: Shakes-beard.
Pro Experience: In the literary realm, the student with a beard finds inspiration in the legendary Shakes-beard!
Q: How did Sarah feel after her exams?
A: As free as a beard.
Q: Why couldn’t I beard the flight on time?
A: I lost my bearding pass.
Q: What does Harry prefer for breakfast?
A: A simple beard and butter toast.
Q: What did my grandfather used to say?
A: A penny shaved is a penny earned.
Q: How do I present myself to the world?
A: I put on a shave face.
Q: What did the new barber in town do?
A: Dug his own shave by ruining a man’s haircut.
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Q: What happened to the men with beards in the bar?
A: They got into a shave and nasty brawl.
Q: Why was Sarah in danger?
A: She went unchaperoned with the man with the beard.
Q: How did the little boy learn?
A: He learned to shave his way in this world.
Q: Where did Sarah and Harry go before the New Year?
A: A shave party.
Q: What is life not always about?
A: Not just beard and skittles.
Q: Why did Harry leave the house?
A: To get another bottle of beard.
Got A Beard Pun? Drop Your Comments! Especially Like This 🤣
A: Enjoy the evening with alcohol and beard.
Q: How light was Sarah’s luggage?
A: As light as a beard’s feather.
Q: What entered Harry’s home?
A: A stray beard, which he fed.
Q: What did they spot in the wildlife sanctuary?
A: A bunch of rare beards.
Q: Why did Harry start working early?
A: Because the early beard catches the worm.
Q: What did my mentor point towards when saying “A beard in hand is worth two in the bush”?
A: My heart.
Q: How are these beard puns?
A: Hair-larious!
Q: Why did Harry refuse to go out with his friends?
A: He was shaving up for a new fiddle.
Q: What did the police inspector ask the man with the beard?
A: “I mustache you, if you have nothing to hide, may eyebrows your digital devices?”
Q: What should those who cannot keep a beard do?
A: Shave from the trouble.
Q: What did the surgeon say to the patient with a beard?
A: “I mustache you to shave before the surgery.”
Q: How did the man with the beard feel when he met a clean-shaven man?
A: Bearded out.
Sigma Experience: In the facial hair face-off, the bearded man realized it was time to “shave” the day!
Q: Why did the little boy struggle?
A: To shave the green vegetables down his throat.
Q: What happened when the barber accidentally shaved Harry’s beard?
A: He had to compenshave for the mistake.
Q: Why did Harry save money?
A: He shaved up for his first solo trip to Ladakh.
Q: What did Harry do after trimming his beard?
A: Shaved himself from the trouble.
Q: How was the man with the beard perceived?
A: Beardy strong and powerful.
Q: What options do men with beards have?
A: Shave-ral options for styling and dressing according to current fashion trends.
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Q: How is having a beard perceived in terms of finances?
A: An expen-shave job.
Q: What should one do with their beardiful beards?
A: Shave-our their time with them.
Q: How did the man with the beard feel about going to the barber?
A: He honestly beard going due to recent mishaps.
Q: What advice did the tired man with the beard give about beards?
A: “Shave yourself from the trouble, do not keep a beard.”
Q: How did the barber feel after not doing his job correctly?
A: Beardful of the man with the beard.
Q: Why was Pavlov’s beard extremely soft?
A: Because of all the chemical treatment.
Do You Have This Kind Of One? Share With Us! 😊
A: I didn’t enjoy it, but it grew on me.
Q: What realization did the bearded man have about shaving?
A: Shaving his beard would be a challenge because it was attached to him.
Q: Why was the bearded man disappointed at the bank?
A: The banker said his shavings were too tiny.
Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: He took a shortcut.
Q: What is common between a man growing a beard and a doctor?
A: Both require patience.
Q: How was the bearded man managing his finances?
A: By investing extensively in his shavings account.
Q: How does a clean-shaven stand-up comic stand out?
A: Their humor is razor-sharp.
Q: How can shaving your beard benefit you?
A: It might give you a leg up in life.
Q: Why was the bearded man unhappy while shopping for aftershave?
A: It was “out of odor.”
Q: What’s every poet’s goal regarding facial hair style?
A: To have Shakes-beard’s style.
Q: Who should be the ‘beard’ of the nation?
A: A bearded man who loves singing fables.
Q: What did the teacher say when a student asked about money and shavings?
A: “Please razor your hands first and then ask the questions.”
Ultra Pro Experience: In the classroom of curiosity, the teacher ensured a smooth lesson by emphasizing the importance of well-groomed inquiries!
Q: What did the customer ask the barber about his beard style?
A: “Can you shave it for later?”
Q: How did the barber explain his financial stability?
A: “I mustache you how I manage my finances? I believe in shaving regularly.”
Q: What happened when many people waited outside a salon?
A: A barber-queue arose.
Q: How could people tell about the thickly beard guy’s bravery?
A: They believed he could beard the lion.
Q: What was the poultry farmer looking for?
A: A gadget to shave cheese.
Q: Why did the barber lose all his savings in November?
A: He participated in the no-shave November challenge.
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Q: How does the barber always solve big problems?
A: He uncurls it and rests a sheared.
Q: What does a barber keep for their children?
A: A heirloom.
Q: How much did the man with a renowned beard love his beard?
A: So much that shaving it required extreme power.
Q: What did the barber offer the shepherd for breakfast?
A: “Would you like some goatee?”
Q: What did the customer tell the barber about his brows?
A: “It was none of your bush-i-ness.”
Q: What is a barber’s driving specialty?
A: They know all the town’s shortcuts.
Got A Beard Pun? Drop Your Comments! Especially Like This 🤣
A: Hairobics.
Q: Why did the moon visit the barber?
A: It needed a haircut during the lunar eclipse.
Q: Why did the barber couple break up?
A: Their relationship was no longer salvageable.
Q: Why did the hairdressers refuse a job?
A: The company had many condition-errs.
Q: Why did a bald man leave the wig shop?
A: The wig was too expensive.
Q: What did the customer do when he realized the barbershop was haunted?
A: His hair stood on end.
Q: Why was everyone’s day cut short?
A: Because the boss had a bad hair day.
Q: Why did I argue with my hairdresser?
A: It turned into a hairy situation.
Q: What did the attentive barber do before cutting hair?
A: He checked it to the hair’s breadth.
Q: What name did the barber suggest for the church?
A: “H-airway to paradise.”
Q: Why did no one make the cut for the position in the hair force?
A: Because they weren’t qualified.
Q: How did some millionaires make their money?
A: By cutting a lot of hair.
Q: Who was the spinoff of 007 for hairdressers?
A: James Blond.
Q: How did the salon seem to me?
A: Familiar, as if I had been there before.
Q: Why am I all dressed up?
A: My date canceled last minute.
Q: What did I tell someone who was upset about a bad haircut?
A: “Don’t worry, I shave every day!”
Q: How is the hairdresser’s story-telling?
A: They add twists to a tricky situation.
Q: How can wavy hair become annoyed?
A: If you don’t wave back.
Q: What did Johnny describe about his dream?
A: He saw a hairy creature which was a hair-raising experience.
Q: What do every hairstylist turn out to be?
A: The best curler.
Q: How do supermodels want their hair to be done?
A: So that not a single hair is out of place.
Q: Who shaves 20 times a day but still has a beard at the end?
A: A barbershop.
Q: Why is visiting a salon the best option after a bad day?
A: Because it’s always full of hair-laughing individuals.
Q: What happened to John’s beard?
A: He wasn’t ready to shave it because it grew on him.
Q: Why were bees following John?
A: Because he had a bee-herd.
Q: How did the man with the beard ask out his crush?
A: By saying, “Do you mind if I comb over and take you out for coffee?”
Q: What compliment did the man with the beard give to his crush?
A: “You are beardiful.”
Q: Why were the men with beards scared on Halloween?
A: It was a beardy scary neighborhood.
Q: Why did the aloof man with the beard attend his friend’s bachelor party?
A: He said, “I am only here for the beard.”
Q: Who did the man with the beard idolize as a literature student?
A: William Shakesbeard.
Q: What book was the man with the beard reading in the public library?
A: Aldous Leonard Huxley’s “Shave New World”.
Q: What were the men with the beards watching on a Saturday afternoon?
A: Batman: The Shave and the Bold.
Q: Why was the man with the beard suddenly scared?
A: He felt like someone walked over his shave.
Q: What song was the man with the beard humming to himself about heat?
A: “Heat shaves been faking me out; can’t make you happier now.”
Q: What other song was the man with the beard humming to himself?
A: “One scotch, one bourbon, one beer.”
Q: Which One Direction song was the man with the beard humming?
A: “You don’t know you’re beardiful, oh-oh; that’s what makes you beardiful.”
Q: What life lesson did the man with the beard share at the bar?
A: “Life is not always about beard and skittles.”
Q: What did the Simpson with the beard say?
A: “I Don’t Wanna Know Why the Caged Beard Sings.”
Q: Which cartoon was dear to the man with the beard as a child?
A: Tweety Beard.
Q: Where did the men with beards decide to visit over the weekend?
A: The beard sanctuary.
Q: Why was the man with the beard irritated listening to beard puns?
A: Because they are very beard.
Q: Who was the famous detective with a big beard?
A: Shearlocke Holmes.
Q: Who was the famous poet who wrote about beards?
A: William Shakesbeard.
Q: What did the barber say to the man after shaving his beard?
A: “Every good thing must come to an end.”
Q: Why did the beardless man glue a bunny to his face?
A: So he’d have the facial hair he always desired.
Q: Why did the man get kicked in the face by a horse?
A: He wanted a horseshoe-shaped mustache.
Q: Why was the town’s sheriff awarded to the bearded man?
A: He had a gunslinger’s beard.
Q: Where do bearded prisoners go?
A: To the Gillette.
Q: Why did the prince with a beard marry Rapunzel?
A: He wanted a hairy ending.
Q: Why are the beard and mustache at odds with each other?
A: Because they can’t face each other.
Q: What lesson did my father teach me about being a bearded man?
A: He showed me how by eating a razor in the bathroom.
Q: Why did I consider shaving my beard?
A: It’s been with me so long that it’s making decisions for me now.
Q: What do poets with mustaches aspire to?
A: To have facial hair like Shakes-beard.
Q: Why are beards so polite?
A: They’re always groomed and well-kept.
Q: What did Black Beard’s ear doctor charge him?
A: A swashbuckler.
Q: Why did the astronaut grow a beard in space?
A: He wanted to be space-ial.
Q: How many bearded men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to do the work, and nine others to compliment each other’s beards.
Q: What made the man who had been growing his beard for a year afraid of the barber?
A: The barber was the razor of his fate.
Q: Why couldn’t the man with a thick beard figure out the cause of his itch?
A: He couldn’t see the root of the problem.
Q: Why did the man help his friends shave their beards?
A: Because shear-ing is caring.
Q: Why did the unlucky man decide to shave his beard?
A: He believed that luck favors the shaven.
Q: What did the hipster say to his chef friend with a beard?
A: “You should savor every bite!”
Q: Why did the beardless friend lie about his beard?
A: He was a close-shaver.
Q: What do you call a beardless bald chemistry teacher?
A: Heisenberg.
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his beardless hipster henchman?
A: “I’m disturbed by your lack of beard!”
Q: What’s the favorite nut for a beard?
A: Mustachios.
Q: What happened to the man’s beard when it grew back?
A: It exclaimed, “I used to be hair!”
Q: What happened when the man with a long beard tried to solve the problem of his itch?
A: He couldn’t get to the root of the issue.
Q: What did Lord Eddard Stark say when it got cold outside?
A: “Winter is coming, and with it, the Santa beard.”
Combing through “Beard puns” has been a hairy good time! Did they tickle your chin with laughter or make you brush up on your humor game?
Share your whisker’d wisdom. Your feedback helps keep our humor sharp and the fuzzy chuckles growing! 🧔😁
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